Parenting: You win some you lose some.

This was a post I started writing 6 months ago and never finished but figured I might as well post it anyway. Enjoy.
-Craig

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This morning was tough. I mean really tough. When I woke Sierra up, all she wanted was her Mom. The scene played out like this: me trying to dress a 3 year old while she SCREAMED and cried for "Mammmmmmaaaa!!", tears flowing down her face, boogers streaming from her nose into her mouth, hair matted against her cheeks, going boneless, underwear half on and me with my head buried in my hands trying to breathe deep yoga breaths and compose myself enough to figure out how to get this child dressed without screaming and crying as well. We eventually both calmed down and got the job done but only after some snuggles, rocking and "shhh shhh shhh-ing". The rest of the morning went a lot smoother and happier. She helped me peanut butter her mini-bagel, we sang songs, we learned the letter V and we got out the door only 30 minutes late.

Moments like this can feel defeating. The 'terrible threes' are hard and theres no way around it. But there are also the wins, the moments where you are so full of happiness and love you just want to squeeze your kid forever and can't whipe the big shit eating grin off of your face.

In Response to: We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook

Have you guys read "We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook" on Raising Kvell yet? If you haven't, get on that right now. It's a 10 minute and read well worth it. The writer, Sarah Emily Tuttle-Singer,  raises some very interesting points and IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME SOMEONE SAID IT! I've considered writing a similar post about 500 times but figured I'd be chastised by the blogosphere so I'm glad someone finally had the gall to do it.

I could not agree with her more. I instagram, Facebook and blog-post about my kid on the regular and every photo is this adorable, angelic, whimsical moment eating breakfast at the coffee shop, building a foam-block tower or making a painting together. I never write about chasing her around the coffee shop saying "Stop! No! Don't do that!!" and feeling embarrassed in front of everyone or the times she asks me to play with blocks or paint and I say "Not right now" or "I'm busy working". Like Tuttle-Singer said "Let’s be real: Parenting is ridiculously hard." and by pretending it's this always-amazing perfect thing we're blatantly lying to everyone. I'm not saying we need to post photos of tantruming children on  instagram or say "My kid is a brat" on twitter because jesus who wants to see that but a little brutal honesty wouldn't hurt sometimes. Infact it would do a world of good to other parents reading it knowing they aren't alone in the struggle and difficulties of parenting.

Sometimes when I post a photo of Sierra on Facebook I get a comment along the lines of "WOW! You make me not afraid to have kids!". And to those commenters I say: Be afraid! Be very afraid! Don't get me wrong, having a kid is the best and I truly mean that. It's a special kind of unconditional love but it's also really difficult and trying. Sometimes you lose your temper, sometimes you don't want to play, sometimes you don't want to wake up at 6AM and dress an angry jelly boned tiny human. So don't be fooled by mommy/daddy bloggers' instagram feeds, including mine, it's not all rainbows and unicorns - it's really hard but it's also really rewarding. I wouldn't change my life for the world and I feel lucky every single day but I agree "We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook".

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And with that I feel Inspired by Sarah Emily Tuttle-Singer to give you my "IRL Morning" with Sierra from this morning:

My alarm went off at 6:30 AM and I realized I had Sierra's fist in my face. She has her own room and her own bed but at some point during the night she decided to wake up and come into our room like she does almost every night. I'm all for co-sleeping but sometimes when your child is lying "H is for Hell" style its not so great.

I decided I cared more about sleeping than starting our daily routine on time so we ignored that 6:30 alarm… and the 7:10 one… and finally got up for the 7:30 one. Soon after I woke up I posted these pictures:

Cute right? A sleepy little baby and a cute outfit. This actually happened, my kid is super cute and so are her outfits but what i didn't mention on my Instagram caption was that 2 minutes after this photo was taken I had to try and dress a half asleep 3 year old who was telling me "No!" and going all "no-bones" while trying to swat me away like an annoying fly. She was angry I woke her up and I was annoyed because we were running late and I didn't have time to fight her into a pair of jeans. It wasn't fun or cute but we made it through. I won't bore you with the rest of the morning but you get the point. 

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When discussing the original Kvell blog post with Lauren she said:

 "It's good. However, I'd hate for Sierra to grow up and find posts upon posts about how difficult she was. I'd like to preserve the smiling moments, keep it real that it's tough, but I don't need pictures of her tantruming to remind me." One of the mommy bloggers said the other day "we choose our focus" and I liked that."

And I like that too. So I leave you with this photo & quote from one of my fav parenting bloggers Kelle Hampton:

(Photo / Quote by Kelle Hampton I'm just borrowing / sharing: Follow her here: http://instagram.com/etst)

-Craig

AMAZING stories... AKA Listen right now.

Recently I've become obsessed with story telling podcasts such as The Moth, Strangers and Risk. In case you're unfamiliar someone gets on stage or in the studio and tells a story. Each episode has a theme  and people tell very personal stories about their lives ranging from 5 minutes to an hour or more sometimes. The stories are beautifully told and are so moving and interesting.

Two have truly stuck out to me as a father and I just wanted to share them with you. One is about a Dad who is a stand-up comedian by night and an amazingly strong father who takes care of his young daughter with cancer by day. The story is about 10 minutes long and as a disclaimer grab a box (or two) of tissues before hitting play. So moving.

The second story is from RISK! and is by Susan Kent of http://www.SouthernDiscomforts.com and is about getting pregnant at a very young age and having to hide it from her mother. This one is a bit longer clocking in at around 30 minutes but is told so vividly and with such emotion it is WELL worth the listen.

You should REALLY subscribe and listen to all three podcasts ASAP!! -Craig

The Moth: Subscribe Here

Strangers: Subscribe Here

RISK!: Subscribe Here

Overreact much Dad?

While browsing YouTube I stumbled upon this video that has gone pretty viral at this point with well over a million views between the many times its been uploaded. Basically it's a Father who saw a post his daughter put on her Facebook where she complains about having to do housework and being woken up early by her little brother. The Dad decides to print it out, read it and then SHOOT her laptop with a handgun. Did I mention he recorded the whole thing and put it on YouTube? Hey I wouldn't like my daughter complaining about me on the internet either but welcome to being a Dad cowboy. You're supposed to be the adult here. You have publicly embarrassed her in a way that I'm sure will hurt her on many levels both socially in school and mentally for years to come. Congrats Dad! -C

Balancing Work and Family

One of the reasons I haven’t been posting here as regularly is because I have had an exuberant amount of freelance work this month. As some of you may know if you read my “Family Comes First: The Challenges of Being a Working Dad” post - I am a graphic designer. I have a full time job where I have a boss, an ID badge and an HR department. I also work many hours a month of freelance to try and bring a little extra income into the house. Sometimes I have rather slow months where I’ll only have two or three short gigs but other months I’ll be so busy that I sleep very little and am irritable but we get to pay all of our bills on time and maybe even save some money towards our vacation fund.

This month has been one of those good (yet tired) months. When I have a month like this my work schedule looks something like: Monday-Friday I work 9:30 A.M. – 6:00 P.M. at my real job and then am home by around 7:00. I then start freelance work at around 8:00 P.M. and work until midnight or later on average. My weekends are more sporadic with the hours but I’d say at least 4-6 hours each day. With all these hours being worked it’s hard to find the time to do much else.

Now I’m sure plenty of you other Dads and Moms do the same whether it’s freelance work, crafting things for Etsy, working a second night job or whatever it is you do to bring extra income to your family. I wanted to write a little bit about how I (think I) make it work without neglecting being a good Dad or a good partner.

Although you may not always have the time to spend the entire day playing choo choo trains or going to the park with your child it’s important to balance work and parenting in a way that is financially sustainable and mentally healthy for both you and your child. The way I make it work is to have a schedule. Now this doesn’t need to be down to the minute with alarms going off on your iPhone but it’s important to have some sort of routine. If you don’t it becomes very possible to get wrapped up in your work. Here are some things that I do that help me balance in a way I feel works for everyone.

Monday thru Friday our whole family wakes up at around 6:30 A.M. It takes our troop one hour from wake up to pulling out of our driveway and in that time each one of us has duties. I look forward to this morning time as it is a great time for me to bond with Sierra as I won’t see her for nearly 12 hours after I drop her off at daycare. I am usually the one who gets her dressed, brushes her teeth and make sure she eats breakfast. Now although those seem like nothing it’s a nice routine that is just Daddy / Baby time every morning. Mama does basically everything else including make everyone’s lunches and makes sure Sierra has all her things she’ll need for the day at daycare.

Next we bring Mama to work and then it’s just Sierra and I for the 15 minute drive to daycare which although I’m driving can still be a bonding experience. We talk, sing songs and just enjoy the last few minutes before an extended time apart. Lastly is drop off at daycare. Although not the happiest time it is still a moment to be cherished everyday as Sierra is normally much more clingy and affectionate. She knows she won’t see her mom or myself for many hours once I leave. It is met with lots of hugs, kisses and even tears some times.

We have similar routines for after work. Like I said I put in a good 4-5 hours every night during busy months so it’s very important to take time every night to also spend with my family away from the computer screen. Almost every night we eat dinner together. We sit at the table, eat a home cooked meal and listen to music. We do all the normal things:  the “how was your day” conversations, taking turns making sure Sierra actually eats, etc. It’s a nice thirty minutes where we just enjoy one another with no distractions.

Next we do the bed time routine where one of us gets Sierra P.J.’d and then I read anywhere from 3 to 10 (if Sierra gets her way) books while Mama and Sierra both snuggle up in the bed. Lastly is goodnight hugs and kisses and I shut the door and start work right away. I get as much done as I can as fast as I can so I can still spend a solid thirty minutes or more with Lauren at the very end of the night (computerless) before we both pass out to wake up and start the routine over again.

Although collectively that’s only a couple of hours (if I’m lucky) a day during the work week we make the most of it. The weekend is a bit more relaxed and enjoyable. We don’t have as rigid of a routine and my trick here is to just do my work during Sierra’s nap and after she goes to bed for the night.

I do my best to work as much as I can so I can provide for my family but I also do my best not to let it get (too much) in the way of truly being there and accessible at all times. If any of you have any tips or tricks for balancing work and parenting I’d love to hear them!

-xo Craig

Guest Dad: Jon Dixon

Hey everyone. My name is Jon Dixon. I'm 25 years old, I've been married for 3 years and have 2 children, Liam, two and a half years old, and Clara, 3 months old. Right now I'm getting my Master's degree in Marriage & Family Therapy and working part-time to pay the bills. I've known Craig since I was a teenager. Back then he was known as Camera Craig because he was always filming us skateboarding around town so we could try to get sponsored. After going to college, getting married and having two kids I have finally given up that dream, haha! When I found out Craig was starting a dad blog I was stoked because I think involved dads need to be in the spotlight to take away from the “deadbeat dad” stereotype. Contrary to our cultural assumptions, recent research has shown that children benefit incredibly from equal exposure to moms and dads.

Much to Craig's dislike, I have been trying to write this post since The Hipster Dad went up, to no avail. Part of the reason for this is that I think too much (downside of a degree in Philosophy!) and I am crazy busy with school, work and my internship. The bigger reason is that whenever I get free time, I spend it with my family. Soooo...what does being a “hip dad” mean to me. This post might just be me rambling on about my ideas but to me, being a “hip dad” is not being afraid to challenge stereotypes in order to pave the way for future generations to have a better family life. Sounds like a lot, right? To me, it's as simple as having fun with my kids and having an equal share in parenting.

Becoming a dad has been the most challenging and rewarding thing that has ever happened to me (although I would say marriage is equally challenging and rewarding). Juggling school, work, marriage and kids isn’t easy but somehow it just happens. Actually, being asked how I do it is probably the dad-question I get the most. I always give the same answer: my wife and I try our best, have fun and trust God will help us out when we need it. The things I love the most are taking the kids to the store with me and having an adventure, waking up early to hang with the kids and cook breakfast for my wife and going on family outings. Most recently, we went down to Rappahannock Cellars in Huntly, VA for a lunch date with Liam’s godmother. The weather was perfect (mid-60s) and the winery is family friendly so bringing the kids was a must. We sat outside, drank some wine and watched Liam run around and play in the grass. I couldn’t help but join him and we ran around and performed for all the other guests! My wife threw Clara in the Ergo and walked around, letting the sun shine gently on her face. After a few hours of grazing and sipping we watched the sun start to set and headed home. A fun trip turned into one of the best family afternoons we’ve ever had. 

I love being a dad. I want all dads to be able to be proud of their title. This could be as simple as not being afraid to throw on the Ergo or BabyBjorn, taking the kids to the park for some fun or just goofing around with them at home. I guess what I’m trying to say is that parenthood is all about bringing who you are into your role as “dad”; kids just want us to be ourselves and spend time with them. #OccupyFatherhood

FAMILY COMES FIRST a.k.a. The challenges of being a working dad.

Disclaimer: I AM NOT GOING TO STOP BLOGGING this is just a post about why I have been blogging LESS over the pass month. Have no fear, The Hipster Dad shall live on! (I am already working on a new post as we speak!)


You guys may have noticed over the past month the amount of times I post, and the quality of these posts, have dramatically dropped. I have a variety of reasons for this but the main one is exhaustion. I AM EXHAUSTED!! THERE I SAID IT. I recently left the job I had been working at for three years and accepted a better paying position at a higher profile agency. While this is wonderful news for my family and I, it has taken it's toll on my mental and physical ability to keep up with a lot of things, like this blog. At my old job I was used to everything I had to do, everyone I had to interact with and all the processes for getting work done, here I am the new guy- I know nothing. I understood there would be a learning curve but I didn't think it would drain me so badly. 


In addition to my 'real job' I also run my own business. I started it with my pal Kaitlin Maud about a year ago and we service small to mid sized companies with business solutions including online/offline design and marketing, and more recently photo and video as well. The company is called Rain or Shine and I love doing it. It fulfills my need to work for my self, take on projects I want to work on and turn down ones I don't. It helps provide my family with extra income and eventually I hope to ONLY do Rain or Shine and not have to have a "9-5er".  


p.s. Another awesome daddy-blogger recently took the leap to being a stay at home daddy  and if you don't read his blog you are a fool! Check him out here --> http://adelinesdaddy.blogspot.com


In addition to my two jobs I also like to consider myself an artist. I attended art school and hold a Bachelor's of Fine Arts. If you are an aspiring artist and want to educate yourself about art and design in general, click here. I think art is one of the most important things in life and continue to make whenever I possibly can. Before Sierra, art was the most important thing in my life and I hope to make it important in hers as well. Now between my two jobs and trying to be a practicing artist can you see how I have very little time for other things like a social life or blogging? BUT WAIT THERES MORE... 


I'm also a Dad. This is the MOST important job I have. This job is the one that is the most mentally and physically exhausting but it is also the one that is the most rewarding. Did I feel great when I got an offer letter for a new job with a larger salary? Yes, but it was not as rewarding as when Sierra asks screams "UPPEE DADDY UPPEE DADDY" the second I get home. Was watching my business grow over the past year rewarding? Yes, but not as rewarding as watching Sierra grow 10x faster. Do I miss making films and sculptures regularly? Yes, but not as much as I enjoy making finger paintings or Elmer's glue and pom-pom collages with Sierra. Becoming a father changes you in many ways and you need to find a way to make all the pieces fit. I have not given up my career or my art work but I have realized what is truly important in my life and learned to prioritize as best I can. As Adam Sandler once said in his dying breath in 2006's Click... "FAMILY COMES FIRST."

Some Fathers Day tips for both old and new dogs alike!

Before becoming a father, officially, as in before the birth of my first son, I read a lot. I pushed my way through books about parenting, birth, education, and every other topic I could think of that would prepare me for being a father, and very little of it hit home. It felt like the books were written in a very matter of fact manner that were meant to push other peoples views and vanilla flavored facts down your throat, who wants that? A young man that is about to embark on the biggest, most exciting/terrifying adventure of his life? NOPE. I have to admit, when I was first asked to share some parenting tips, I quickly flashed back to late nights spent reading and trying to "learn" about parenting, but the simple fact is, you just do it. When my wife shared concerns over whether she was going to be a good mom, or how she would do this and accomplish that I always told her the same thing: you just do. And you know what, she just did, as you will do, and every parent out there is (hopefully) capable of.


Currently, I have two children, one of them is 9 going on 19, the other is almost 19 months, and I have definitely learned a lot from the both of them.  I am married to a wonderful, supportive woman, who is the mother of one of my boys, Hendrix, and my other boy, Christian, is from a previous marriage. I learned a lot going through a divorce and custody proceedings. The majority of what I learned is that it sucks, and there really is no "right" or "easy" way to go about things. I own an event planning and management company which allows me to be home during the day with my boys, it doesn't get much better then that! Ok, enough about me, here are a couple nuggets of wisdom if you will. Hopefully these will help smooth a few of the bumps for you new dads, and ease a few knots of tension for the seasoned vets. One of the things I try to remember, as a dad, is you CAN teach an old dog new tricks, especially if that dog is a sleep deprived father at wits end!


Tip 1: 10 minutes goes a long way! Sit down with your kid before work and read a book, plop them in the tub for a quick bath, or just tickle them silly out on the front lawn! This goes for after work, before you make that important call, during work (if you work from home), or in the middle of a big project. When you dont have time for quantity, go for quality! You would be surprised how far that short bonding session goes and how it can change both of your days!


Tip 2: Make it work! IF you are separated, divorced, or even if you were never married to the baby mama, make it work! Your child, no matter how much you think they cant, will FEEL what is going on between the two of you. Think before you speak and never allow yourself to get baited into a fight. Once you stop fighting that sail quickly runs out of air and becomes useless, eventually the waters calm, and you can see the horizon again.


Tip 3: Put the camera down, live in the moment. Documenting your life as a family is important, but not as important as being part of that perfect moment you are trying to capture so desperately. Some of the best memories I have with my kids are up in the old brain-bucket, and thats good enough for me!


Tip 4: Take care of yourself! Its easy to get run down, especially as a new dad with a high maintenance bundle of joy on your hands. If you are sick, exhausted, over-stressed, under-fed, or overweight it will definitely inhibit the fun, caring, and involvement you have in your child's life so learn to make the time to take care of yourself. A healthy dad is a happy dad!


Tip 5: Dont be afraid to jump in with both feet! A good daddy knows how to do a french braid, knows every word to his kids favorite song, is not afraid to crawl around the house (mall, park, side of the road!) and make dinosaur sounds! If you have a girl, you  better know how to set the table for a tea party, if you have a boy, you need to know what each bakugans strength is and how to battle!


Tip 6: Remember who you are! Your wife, girlfriend, baby mama picked you for you. Your kids love you for you, and you should love you for YOU. Do not let those Zeppelin LP's get dusty! You are cool as hell and you should not be afraid to show it! I dont care if you listen to Michael Buble or Michael Stipe own that ish and display it proudly! 


So there it is, hopefully these help and feel free to pass on any of your words of wisdom, I know I can always use them!

GUEST DAD: Pete Fazio (of DadAnd.com)

Hi everyone, I'm Pete. I write a blog called dadand.com with my buddy Marty. Our blog is a mashup of all things dad-, and dude-related. DIY, repairs, cars, gadgets, whatever. We like to teach our kids about the way things work and how to fix stuff and explain the world as best we can.

While we ARE a "dad blog" we're not really a get-really-sappy-about-our-kids-so-the-mom-bloggers-get-all-weepy kind of blog. We normally leave the sap to the other 6 million dad blogs, BUT NOT TODAY. Today is a worldwide internet exclusive.


Today I AM going to get sappy about my little bean, Julia. She's called peaches, bean, burger, turkey, tofu burger, J, J-bird, JJ, the list goes on. But after 4 years it's sort of landed on "J".

"Julia sitting on me. No joke, she peed on me like 10 seconds after this pic was taken."

On being a single dad

I've been a single dad for over 2 years now. Time is split 50/50 with her mom. She has no recollection of her me and her mom being married or being in the same house at all. One time after telling her that mommy loves Elvis she actually asked me "Why do you know so much about my mommy?". It's brought Julia and I so close that it's not even funny. We're best buddies, she completely trusts me in every aspect, and she also knows that even though we're buds, what I say goes, and when it's time to get serious and listen to dad she does it without (much) question.

"Hanging in Cape Cod. Photo by mom."

Daddy/daughter adventures

She's a great traveling buddy. We're always on some kind of adventure, it could be anything from going to plays, music shows, to our favorite: friday night trips to the Strong Museum of Play in Rochester, NY to something as simple as a trip to the store. We make it fun and make it a mission. She also loves helping me build and do DIY projects, like this treehouse I made from reclaimed deck wood.

"Going whale watching. yes she puked everywhere."



I've seen her grow in so many awesome ways. She loves art, music, nature, bugs, toads, everything. She's fearless. She loves food and trusts that if I ask her to try something that it's worth it. She'll at least give it a shot.

Any dad rants?

YES. Dads, stop yer bragging.

It  kind of bugs me when dads pat themselves on the back for doing stuff like doing tea parties and painting finger and toenails. It's just stuff you do when you love your child. It's expected. I'd almost go as far to say if you're pointing that stuff out then you're kind of saying it should be "woman work" and you're some great guy for "helping out the wife".

Any advice?

I always hesitate to give others parenting advice but If I were going to (and UH OH, it sounds like I'm about to right now), I'd say:

1. Let your kids make mistakes, get dirty, and get a bump on the head once in a while. I think of J like a little lion cub. She's going to poke around in the yard and explore and get dirty and pick stuff up she shouldn't and climb on stuff she shouldn't and fall down. GOOD. I try to be as poised as possible to let her explore freely and swoop in when my spidey-senses start tingling.
2. Don't baby talk to your kids. We've talked to J like an adult since she was born and the kid has an amazing vocabulary and can have a conversation.
3. Make them try new things every day. Food, music, games, toys. I know kids love routine and listening to the same CD over and over, and could eat chicken fingers every day, or tofu fingers, or whatever people are eating now-a-days, but damn man, break them out of that mold. There's nothing more annoying than an adult who won't eat this and won't eat that and picks the tomatoes out of their salads.

Oh, I'm tired of reading my own words and quite frankly I zone out when reading other parents write about parenting so I'm going to peace out. Of course we're always available for any kind of manly advice over at dadand.com and always would love some followers on twitter.com/dadandblog, or likes on FB: facebook.com/dadandblog.

Pete

GUEST DAD: Tyson Stiles (Cleveland, OH)

I am Tyson Stiles, a 30 year old single, soon-to-be married, father of the hippest 4 year old boy ever, my son Trynter.  We are from the Cleveland, OH area, which basically means we spend most of our time indoors staying dry, shoveling snow, playing Batman and Robin, making music, and wrestling.  This is a little post about what it means to me to be a father.

Someone once told me that kids just want your time.  It’s really that simple; give your sons and daughters your time.  In our life that means dressing up for Halloween together, dive bombing off of my bed (no major injuries…yet), or maybe veg’ing out and playing some video games.  The activity itself doesn’t really matter; what matters is that we spend time with our children.    

Being a single father has had its rough moments and I do believe it’s helped in creating a huge bond between my son and I that may not have been as strong otherwise.  We’ve now spent many hours together over the past 3 years and that bond grows tighter and tighter every day.  Just recently I was finally able to bring Tryn with me to one of my band’s concerts (we played a youth retreat…he doesn’t go to the bars with me!) and we had a total blast.  It was such a special moment for me to look out in the crowd and see my son dancing with a glow stick waving above his head, rocking out to his dad’s tunes.  Want to know the best part though?  When we’re driving along, heading to wherever, I hear this four year old voice in the backseat of my car saying “Hey Dad?  Remember your concert where you played guitar and I was dancing?  That was super cool”.  My heart melts because I know (since I was a son once myself…) that specific memory is burned into his soul.  

Dads:  we are larger than life to our children.  Our sons and daughters will never have a bigger influence in their lives, no greater impression will ever be made, and no one could possibly replace you.  Continue to be there for your children, be the sidekick, be the punching bag, and be the largest person at the tea party.  Most importantly, continue to be there.

If you'd like to read more from Tyson please visit his blog "Live.Love.Appreciate". Tyson is also in the band The Hearts which rule, check em out!

Raising your kid as an artist.

As soon as I was old enough to hold a crayon I was always making art. I went to a vocational high school where my concentration was art and after that I went to college at the Massachusetts College of Art. Art is a big part of my life so when I found out I was going to be a Dad I had all these visions for how I would shape my daughter to be cool and unique. Then she was born. I quickly realized she would be the one shaping herself and thats what would make her unique, not me buying her Johnny Cupcakes t-shirts and playing Cursive records around the house.

Something I realized about 'good parenting' is knowing the difference between steering your child in what you feel is the 'cool and right' direction and just trying to make a "Mini Me". I'd like to think I'm the former in that category and not trying to make a Lil' Craigina. That being said, we're a very art-friendly family. By that I mean we have paintings hanging in our apartment, have turned our sun porch into a mini-studio for myself, Lauren has a sewing/knitting desk and we attend museums and galleries at least a few times a month. Sierra has an art table in our dining room with pens, pencils, markers, crayons, paints and plenty of paper. I don't think that is 'pushing her' into being an artist, as much as it is saying "Hey kid, check this out!" I want Sierra to make and appreciate art so I expose her to it, but if she turns 6 and says "Art sucks Dad, I don't get it. I like baseball.", I'll support her and gladly buy her a glove. So I want her to make her own decisions but it's also up to me to instill what I feel are good values into her.

Here is Lauren's Sewing Table (when it was first set up, I assure you it isn't this clean anymore haha!). Lauren has become quite the sewer and has made Sierra a little apron and a cute sundress this month. Check out her blog for photos!

This is a beautiful painting by a family friend, Annie Rebola, we have hanging in our home. We have a lot of art but this is our only 'original' and I love that Annie was nice enough to donate it to us. Click the link above to buy some of her paintings!!

Here are a few shots of our room, incuding all these neat old windows we got off craigslist for free.

I have read countless books about art education and how it is helpful in the development of a young child's brain and I think Sierra's development as a mini-artmaker is perfect and healthy. If I wasn't tired as shit after a long work week I'd drag out my plethora of art-teacher books and throw some facts at you, but like I said, I'm tired as shit so I found some info on a UMass Extension website instead. It discusses how art can help with Physical, Social, Cognitive and Emotional development as well as develop healthy habits in Imagination and experimentation. Read the details here.  Not only do I think art should be practiced in the house with young children but I am a very big supporter of keeping arts and music in schools. I went to school for art education like I said and I could write an entire books worth of thoughts on that subject but I won't bore you, check out these cute photos of my little artist instead:

Sierra loves art so much she even eats crayons. (This was not allowed btw, she had somehow snuck a crayon into the car and we were on an hour long drive when she did this - I should have known when she was being so quiet she was up to no good)

This is Sierra and our friend Annie (the artist who did the painting above), Annie is the nicest person ever and babysits for us from time to time, she is also a licensed art teacher and wonderful painter, what better baby sitter could you ask for?

Sierra and her sketch book. 

Here are some of Sierra's drawings. (Note: Sierra reading Goodnight Gorilla 

Sierra working very hard on a new drawing.

Here Sierra is at CafeNation, this awesome little coffee shop in Brighton that regularly houses local artists , Sierra loves looking at the art on the walls and points to the ones she like's best.

The toddler age is not only a great time for art making, but a great time for exploration of materials. Most people (teachers included) only allow crayons at that young age but Sierra has experimented with lots of materials: markers, pens, pencils, paints, collage, etc.

This was just last night at the Institute of Contemporary Art's new exhibit "The Record" this was a video piece, but as you know if you read this blog we are anti-TV with her so we let her listen but no video just yet little one. I know headphones aren't the best for kids, but I pick and choose my battles; the audio was soft and it's art not the new Lady GaGa single.

This was when we went to the Mark Bradford show also at Boston's Institute of Contemporary Art.

Heres a photograph of the baby and I working on some drawings together.

This was a drawing Sierra and I made together.

HELPFUL LINKS:

Making Art with Toddlers

Teaching for Artistic Behavior

ClementineArt - Natural Soy Crayons


If anyone has any good thoughts about art for children, projects they have had success with or products that you think are awesome please leave a comment below! Would love to hear people's feedback. -Craig

GUEST DAD: Jorge Narvaez

Hi everybody! My name is Jorge Narvaez and this is my definition of family, not my quote though:


"The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together" -Unknown

So yea, I'm the awesome young 24 year-old father Alexa and Eliana Narvaez and we absolutely LOVE music. So much, that we posted a video of us doing a cover and it went viral!!!. So now we have an awesome thing going on our YouTube channel. What!!!? You didnt know?? Oh OK i see i see. That's cool homie! I get it. :(........ NO im kidding so yea. There have been awesome episodes in our lives, but this one that occurred on YouTube has been the most awesome one. So far we have over 18.5 million views on our channel in less than 3 months and climbing.

Being a single father is not easy but its freaking awesome because we learn from each other as we go along everyday. Bond? Dude, the bond with my daughters is very powerful and I'm not exaggerating. We're very close and trust each other with everything we do. Music is like the glue that keeps us together and reminds us that being a family that broke apart is not the end, but just the beginning of a different but wonderful life. I hope you all take a look at our channel and become of our journey. Please enjoy this awesome bog about AWESOME DADS OUT THERE. Take care everybody and good luck with everything!!!!!!! -Jorge N.


p.s. if you haven't seen the video Jorge is talking about, you must be living under a rock - but here it is (prepare to die of cuteness)

BOOK REVIEW: "Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture"

A few weeks ago Lauren told me about a book she heard about on NPR called "Cinderella Ate My Daughter". She said that she really wanted to read it and how great it sounded, so being the amazing boyfriend I am, I went to a Borders and shelled out $25.99 for it. Little did I know she'd read it in two days and then beg me to read it because, according to her it was important to read for someone with a daughter - what could I say? So here I was reading a big pink book on the subway. Not only is it pink, but it's covered in glitter and features a princess on the cover - I assure you I looked very manly reading this. Once I began reading it I felt the irony of my embarrassment.

I've never reviewed a book before so bear with me here. The first few chapters really grabbed me and I was very impressed by the thoughts, ideas and concepts that Orenstein brought up. The premise of the book is to show that the 'pretty pink princess' phase isn't as safe and cute as parents and children are made to think. The book starts off well enough and she pulls you in with her witty comments, my favorite of which was "Sesame Street Walker" referring to the portrayal of the (few and far between) female characters on Sesame Street. She does not stop at Seasame Street, she goes on to trash disney, dora, barbie and britney. The book raises a lot of interesting ideas about what these things really stand for, for example disney princesses are fine and dandy but when we look past surface we see at what they represent; weak women waiting for a wealthy man to rescue her, The Little Mermaid's Ariel even gives up her voice for a man.

One of the aspects I loved about the book was how personal it was. Each chapter tackles a new 'phase' in a young girls life through not only statistics and interviews but through intimate stories about her own battles between herself and her daughter Daisy. Hearing the stories, quotes and situations she went through personally really helps the reader connect and feel the 'fear' of these phases. Orenstein is a leader in children's studies and it was a breath of fresh air to hear her admit to struggling with these things just like us regular parents.

Although the book brings up a lot of interesting questions, it provides little to no answers. I understand it's not a how-to or self-help book but I expected to feel more prepared how to protect my daughter from this culture not more confused than ever. Perhaps there just isn't an "answer". Even Orenstein's daughter Daisy who was brought up by one of the biggest crusaders against all things pink went through a Disney Princess phase, so perhaps it really is just unavoidable. Maybe the 'great big marketing machine that is Disney' (and Matel, and Nickelodeon, and MTV and and and...) is just too big and we just can't fight it - but we can sure as hell try!  Although the book doesn't say "do this to stop that..." it does bring up a lot of very interesting thoughts you may not have considered before, it is important to be aware that these influences do exist and I suggest this book to any father of a young daughter.

EDIT --- Peggy Orenstein contacted us! She noticed my complaint of 'lack of answers' and let us know that although they may not be in the book she does provide 'idead to combat' here: http://peggyorenstein.com/resources.html - Check it out guys, lot's of neat links and ideas!

CHECK OUT PEGGY ORENSTEIN'S WEBSITE HERE

BUY "CINDERELLA ATE MY DAUGHTER" HERE

FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER HERE @PeggyOrenstein