In Response to: We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook

Have you guys read "We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook" on Raising Kvell yet? If you haven't, get on that right now. It's a 10 minute and read well worth it. The writer, Sarah Emily Tuttle-Singer,  raises some very interesting points and IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME SOMEONE SAID IT! I've considered writing a similar post about 500 times but figured I'd be chastised by the blogosphere so I'm glad someone finally had the gall to do it.

I could not agree with her more. I instagram, Facebook and blog-post about my kid on the regular and every photo is this adorable, angelic, whimsical moment eating breakfast at the coffee shop, building a foam-block tower or making a painting together. I never write about chasing her around the coffee shop saying "Stop! No! Don't do that!!" and feeling embarrassed in front of everyone or the times she asks me to play with blocks or paint and I say "Not right now" or "I'm busy working". Like Tuttle-Singer said "Let’s be real: Parenting is ridiculously hard." and by pretending it's this always-amazing perfect thing we're blatantly lying to everyone. I'm not saying we need to post photos of tantruming children on  instagram or say "My kid is a brat" on twitter because jesus who wants to see that but a little brutal honesty wouldn't hurt sometimes. Infact it would do a world of good to other parents reading it knowing they aren't alone in the struggle and difficulties of parenting.

Sometimes when I post a photo of Sierra on Facebook I get a comment along the lines of "WOW! You make me not afraid to have kids!". And to those commenters I say: Be afraid! Be very afraid! Don't get me wrong, having a kid is the best and I truly mean that. It's a special kind of unconditional love but it's also really difficult and trying. Sometimes you lose your temper, sometimes you don't want to play, sometimes you don't want to wake up at 6AM and dress an angry jelly boned tiny human. So don't be fooled by mommy/daddy bloggers' instagram feeds, including mine, it's not all rainbows and unicorns - it's really hard but it's also really rewarding. I wouldn't change my life for the world and I feel lucky every single day but I agree "We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook".

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And with that I feel Inspired by Sarah Emily Tuttle-Singer to give you my "IRL Morning" with Sierra from this morning:

My alarm went off at 6:30 AM and I realized I had Sierra's fist in my face. She has her own room and her own bed but at some point during the night she decided to wake up and come into our room like she does almost every night. I'm all for co-sleeping but sometimes when your child is lying "H is for Hell" style its not so great.

I decided I cared more about sleeping than starting our daily routine on time so we ignored that 6:30 alarm… and the 7:10 one… and finally got up for the 7:30 one. Soon after I woke up I posted these pictures:

Cute right? A sleepy little baby and a cute outfit. This actually happened, my kid is super cute and so are her outfits but what i didn't mention on my Instagram caption was that 2 minutes after this photo was taken I had to try and dress a half asleep 3 year old who was telling me "No!" and going all "no-bones" while trying to swat me away like an annoying fly. She was angry I woke her up and I was annoyed because we were running late and I didn't have time to fight her into a pair of jeans. It wasn't fun or cute but we made it through. I won't bore you with the rest of the morning but you get the point. 

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When discussing the original Kvell blog post with Lauren she said:

 "It's good. However, I'd hate for Sierra to grow up and find posts upon posts about how difficult she was. I'd like to preserve the smiling moments, keep it real that it's tough, but I don't need pictures of her tantruming to remind me." One of the mommy bloggers said the other day "we choose our focus" and I liked that."

And I like that too. So I leave you with this photo & quote from one of my fav parenting bloggers Kelle Hampton:

(Photo / Quote by Kelle Hampton I'm just borrowing / sharing: Follow her here: http://instagram.com/etst)

-Craig

MOMS on DADS: Darlene O of the "Tales of a Young Mamma" blog!

Hi guys I'm Darlene from youngmammatales.blogspot.com I'm honored today to be here today to talk a bit about an awesome dad in my life, my baby daddy, Drew.

Drew and I started dating senior year of high school, after being friends since 5th grade. It became pretty serious and I ended up transferring out to Denver to be with him Soph. year of college. 

When I got pregnant, he was a 19 year old college kid, with no thoughts to being a dad anytime soon. Even though we had been together for 2 years, I still didn't count on him sticking around to be a father. I didn't want to tie him down at 19. I gave him an out, many, many times throughout my pregnancy. And he never took it. From the day he found out he was going to be a father, he 100 percent stepped up. He switched to a full time job to support our son and us, while going to college full time. 

For the first 3 years of Jasper's life, Drew worked 50+ hrs a week, was in class another 18 and still managed to be a great dad. He was up with me for middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, park and playdates, doctors appointments, he was there through it all. 

He found a way to make our dream of studying abroad in Sweden happen, with our son. Countless people told us it wasn't doable with a child, that they wouldn't be able to find proper housing for a child, and he kept pursuing and making it happen. He Never gives up on a dream.  And he is teaching our children to be the same.

He is the dad who gets up with our son and lets me sleep in while he makes us a huge breakfast on a Saturday. He's the dad who knows all of his sons teachers and friends names and goes along to every birthday party. He is the dad who actually plays at the park, not only with our son but somehow gets all the other kids involved as well. He is the dad who hasn't missed a single soccer game in the two years Jasper has been playing. He is the dad who won't stay for happy hour after work with everyone else because that would mean not being home to tuck his kids into bed at night.

Now that we have a daughter as well I can see how much he has changed even more for the better. Having a son, and now a daughter has made him become such a loving, caring person, and they are so lucky to have him in their life.

Thanks for letting me share a little bit about one amazing dad, can't wait to hear all about the other great dads out there!

MOMS on DADS: Kate Foley Hardage

Hi everyone. Craig here. As a precursor to a post that we hope to be the first of many, I want to introduce you to a new feature we're calling "Moms on Dads". As you may have guessed, it's Moms talking about Dads. This can be their own Dads, their baby daddies or any Dad that's ever had an impact on their life - good or bad. If any of you want to contribute and gush about your man, discuss your fathers role in your own life or even just brag about an awesome Dad you know drop us a line atTheHipsterDad@gmail.com!

Thanks and without further ado here is Kate Foley Hardage...

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Hey everyone. My name is Kate and I know Craig through his baby mama. My firstborn is four months older than Sierra, so we’ve gone through a lot of the same things at the same time. My usual haunt is Four is the Magic Number, where I usually spend time writing about the day to day happenings and milestones with my two little boys, Dex and Kiery. However, today I wanted to take some time to write about the other boy (um- I guess I should say man) in my life.

Logan and I pretty much put our relationship on fast forward from the start. From the day we first hung out, we pretty much lived together, were pregnant a month later, and two weeks before our bundle of joy arrived we were married. Being unmarried and pregnant at 22 (he was 25) was pretty scary. However, from the first moment when I told him there was a possibility of a baby in our future, he was all in. Five years ago he spent most of his nights behind a bottle of alcohol, most of his “outdoor time” was smoking cigarettes, and he lived in a house where three of the four stories were inhabited with a bunch of guys that shared interest in those pastimes as well. If you knew him now, I don’t think that would be how you would picture him at all. He has gone to every doctor’s appointment, every baby class, and being a great father and husband is always at the front of his mind.

He works hard. He works often. He is the Assistant Manager at a local coffee shop and is greatly invested in its growth and future, and also lives the closest which means he is pretty much always on call. He puts in his barista hours behind the bar, but is constantly running numbers, doing paperwork, checking in on employees and running errands. I couldn’t even tell you the number of hours he works a week. And yet- he still finds the energy to be a stay-at-home dad two and a half days a week with our three and a half year old and sixteen month old. (We are so lucky and grateful for all the help we have had to have both of us able to work full time and not have the kiddos in daycare). He does most of the grocery shopping, many of the errands, often has dinner ready when I get home, and more often than not, shows up at my work with a treat of some kind. He does art projects with the boys, takes them to the playground and teaches them how to respect women. He sleeps five hours at night, spends nine hours with the boys and then goes into work for the night. While balance is not always had, there is always a lot of love, and he does it 99.9% of the time with no complaints.

I think that things are hard for all parents right now. We are figuring out our “roles” in a society that has greatly changed in the last thirty years. What was true for our grandparents is definitely not the norm anymore. This means different things for each family, and it means that each family looks a bit different from the next. I can only speak for myself and my own family and say that a lot of our success comes from lots of communication, working hard pretty much all the time, and being a true team. (Yes, we even have a team name). I am so lucky and so grateful for the dad I have as a father to my children. As a woman, I look at him and other men like the Hipster Dads here and know that we have great role models for our children, and I couldn’t ask for more.